Category Archives: Love

More or Less Love

I never realized that there was more than one view on love until I was talking with an acquaintance about children. She had a toddler and was pregnant with her second. She was wondering if she could possibly love this second child as much as her first. I think my jaw dropped opened. Hopefully, I was kind enough to hide my surprise. I seriously had never thought that way. But maybe you do? Here are two views of love:

View #1 – Limited and Diminishing
Real people have shared this view with me. If you carry this view of love in your heart, you see a finite amount of love to go around. So, if you are a mom, you think loving one child means having less love for the second child, and even less for a third child. You may even run out of love if you have too many children. If you are a spouse, you think that having a child is going to make your spouse love you less. It becomes a battle over who do you love more? Me or our child? This view flows over into the workplace, the neighborhood, everywhere you go! If you have had to work with someone who shares this outlook, you will know what I mean.

View #2 – Abundant and Growing
I personally prefer this view. I like to use the analogy of a candle. If I light a candle, it brings light to the whole room. Now, if I give each of my children a candle, every time I light their candle, my candle doesn’t run out of light. In fact, it really doesn’t change. And they now have a candle that could ¬†light a whole room and a whole bunch of other candles. This candle lighting and room lighting could go on for a very long time (limited only by the fact that my analogy is based on a finite object like a candle!) This view also flows over and it just brings tremendous joy with it.

I hope your heart prefers to love with abundance! This gift of love will overflow and double back like a tidal wave. Try it sometime!


He Waited 16 Years to Get Me

On our 16th anniversary, I had an out-of-town business trip. Not a whole lot I could do about it, so my husband and I planned to celebrate when I got back. Little did I know that my calm, cool and collected husband had other ideas.

After riding the airport bus from the cheap parking spots, I made my way to the ticket counter, then boarded the plane. Right before the flight was getting ready to depart, over the intercom I hear my name and “Would you please press the flight attendant button over your seat so we can locate you?”

Immediately, thoughts of horror entered my mind. Are my kids okay? Was there a death in the family? When I push the button, the flight attendant says, “Does everyone see the lady with her hand up? It’s her 16th wedding anniversary and her husband wants her to know that he loves her.” I turned 20 shades of red. But, that was just the beginning!

At my hotel, they informed me that I had been upgraded. In my fancy room, there was a bottle of champagne and a huge bouquet of flowers with a love note from my husband. I immediately called him to thank him and also tell him he was in big trouble for pulling this one over on me. He assured me that he had waited many years to be able to pull this off without me “sniffing” it out. I had to admit, he definitely managed to do just that.

As the meeting began at the Conference Center, the PowerPoint screen read: “Happy 16th Anniversary” to me! In front of all the Conference attendees, the speaker had me come to the front of the room and told me that my husband wanted me to know just how much he loves me. She had all the attendees clap for us and even gave me a gift he had wanted me to receive. This was really getting out of hand!

Later, I learned there were many more “love notes” that I missed, like a giant sign at the cheap parking spot that I simply drove right past. Even today as I write this, I cannot believe what effort and work he went through for me on our 16th wedding anniversary. And all I had gotten him was a lousy card!!!

This experience made me realize just how much I love and appreciate my husband and how much he loves and appreciates me, even after our many decades of marriage. Now, I just have to plan a sneak-attack anniversary for him over the next decade or so.