Tag Archives: kindness

Looking Back at Missed Opportunities

At Mass today, I couldn’t help but notice her. She sat by herself, nicely coiffed, with her dark black curls fixed just so and her petite size 4 designer clothes immaculately pressed. Her posture reminded me of a ballerina, except that she had a humility that is hard to find in a dancer. I’m guessing that she is in her late 70s or early 80s.

The reason I couldn’t stop seeing her was because she was by herself. Many years ago, when my children were young and I was hopeful to attend daily Mass, she and her two sisters would always stop and talk with us. Over weeks and months, we got to know them better, and they each had their own sweet personalities. They had such a similar look and mannerism that my children may have thought they were triplets. It was like having three Grandmas cooing and adoring my passel of children. Even though they were not related to us, they knew how to love and my family basked in their warmth.

As life goes, we moved away and moved on. We haven’t seen these ladies in years. Today, we went back to celebrate Mass for Mother’s Day with my husband’s mom at her church. That’s why I saw her. So many questions I wanted to ask. Were her sisters still living? I hope they had just moved into a nursing home. Was she the youngest? Did any of them have children? What is life like when your best friends and also your sisters die before you?

As Mass ended, and we headed out the door, I turned to see if she was in the crowd. That’s when another friend and her family spied us and interrupted my thoughts. “Happy Mother’s Day,” she said and gave me a hug. I smiled and hugged her back. When I remembered to look back, my elderly friend was nowhere to be seen. I hope she has a lovely Mother’s Day and may the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace.

 

 

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Who Needs a Mirror When You’ve Got Kids?

Who needs a mirror when you’ve got kids? In some ways, children are better than a mirror. Let me share three ways:

1) Children let you know things you already know but don’t want to remember, just like a mirror. For example, “Mom, you’re belly is pudgy.” When I respond with a distressed look, they reply, “But we like it because it’s soft when we snuggle with you!” Now, that’s better than a mirror!

2) Children repeat what you say and act exactly how you do.  When I was in a bad mood the other day, I grumbled at one of my children. As soon as I was done, that child turned and grumbled at his sibling, who then grumbled at her sibling, and so on, and so on. It was horrifying to watch! Also, If you just “say” things to them, but don’t do them yourself, they will never follow suit, just like a mirror would never reflect what you do not do. This is especially true if you have a bad habit–like biting nails or losing your temper or rolling your eyes. Stop those habits now so your children do not reflect a “not-so-wonderful” you. Plus, you’ll be much happier when you look in your “new” mirror (aka see how your children behave.)

3) Children often reflect your love even greater than you gave it. When children know they are loved and are shown how to be honest, how to share, how to forgive and how to obey, their actions often show such great love that it can melt even the most hardened heart. Have you ever been approached by the most adorable child with curls and big eyes who waves at you from their wheelchair and just wants to shake your hand? That happened to me yesterday and I knew that this little child was well-loved. It just radiated from her. Children reflect love so brightly when they are gentle, kind, patience, humble and full of hope.

Mirror, mirror on the wall
whose the fairest of them all?
-or-
Mirror, mirror in my house
reflecting truly both me and my spouse!

I highly recommend that you think through your choice of mirror — they can be brutally honest, but well worth the investment.